I’m a kidney stone factory. Over 20 in my lifetime. Now on day 7 struggling with the current invader. Wears me out physically and gives me a clouded mind. A fond friend prayed for my healing, but his words included a request of God to give me the grace to bear up under the pain. My journal entries dwindle, so I peeked back at some entries made two years ago and found something to cling to. It sure looks like the grace I so long for and need.
12/30/07: Distracting thoughts, in their barrage, settle as dust. With a gentle puff, I blow. They scatter. Christ, see me with the eyes of your heart. Hear me and know me in places underground. Give me words and pictures to capture the essence of what’s going on:
A Door.
Light floods in through the cracks at the side and beneath.
Light of hope.
Not contained.
Making way to where I am,
Now, this moment.
Hope for now…Your presence.
Hope for tomorrow.
Direction yes. But timing hidden.
I bask in this light enough, unashamed.
You found me!
All a fresh reminder that life in my interior, introverted world, doesn’t have to make sense. Time is kairos. Glimpses are of eternal things. Demandingness melts. Christ reveals. God invites. Faith blossoms. Wonder spawns. We dance.
Madeleine L’Engle was the first one to introduce me to the concept of kairos and chronos time because of her two YA series that corresponded to these two ideas. Time is such a fascinating concept and such a mystery. Our God is pretty cool for making it all. 🙂